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Day two,

I feel a bit better, and more energetic though…
I still feel so uncomfortable in this mind of mine. But I slept a lot, I seem to get easily upset and angered. Dog ruining my ear sets again, receive comment of someone’s parents that I’m using this as a trick. (Don’t take it offensively when you read this hunny, I’m just easily to hurt right now… ) . Plans go up in smoke. Health is $h!t… I could go on for a long time like this.

I keep sneezing my brains out from this weather. Hayfever is so much fun. I’m worried, this weather is only just starting, how will it affect the people and me during the summer?
World is screwed up, wish everyone paid more attention to it. ¬¬

I hate the way I am, the way I act the way I draw. I can’t seem to cry anymore while I’d love too. I have angst feelings lately and I have a hard time to get rid of them.
I shout inside of myself. I fear no one of my family would understand.
Turning 25 in a few months I feel like I haven’t achieved anything, you know what I mean?

Well, I saw this video yesterday someone advised me to look at, a man who is dying, and gave his last lecture. A lot of words he said really touched me, and it’s true, everything time there is a wall, but only if you really want it, you either break through that wall. If you don’t want it badly enough you don’t go for it.

I know my love is supporting me, I wish I could talk to him; I know he knows the right words.
Sometimes I feel like I do so much work, and you don’t hear anything or get anything for in return, though I don’t ask for that…
I don’t even like accepting that, but yet some part of me feels disappointed.

Ok, I’ll end this journal right now, I’m tired of sneezing and sneezing and sneezing, I think you get my grip.

I need to laugh more, that is for sure… Does anyone know funny stuff to watch on youtube?
Please link me to it… Laughing always cure’s my depressions…
Thank you *evilsherbear for that lecture video…